NYC High School Application Results are Out and You Have Questions?
Our friendly Family Welcome Center rep has answers.
Q: My child was matched with their 97th ranked school. I understand that means we are now on 96 waitlists, and we have added ourselves to the waitlists at 27 more schools that we now realize we like better than our original ranked 97. Is there a tool in MySchools to help us keep track of our movement on those lists?
A: Haha. Good one! No, there is not a tool for that. My guess is because you would be the only family that needed it! No but for real, we realized, after we introduced those super cool ombré bars that showed people their chances of getting into certain schools, that less information is actually better than more, especially when that information isn’t completely accurate. So we encourage you to embrace the unknown — in this process and also in life in general! — and just wait it out. Odds are by November or next February, your child will get offered a seat somewhere else if you haven’t already moved to the burbs by then. And who doesn’t love changing schools midyear?
Q: My child (Tier 1, with average grades of 99.999999999999) did not excel on the SHSAT (which I thought was being renamed ASSHAT?) and so did not receive any Specialized High School offers. Clearly, something is wrong with the test. How do I appeal and have the test overhauled to better show how extraordinary my child is?
A: You may be surprised to know that New York City is actually full of extraordinary children, all of whom deserve an excellent education and (sorry to break it to you) many of whom truly excelled at the SHSAT (we’re not sure why ASSHAT didn’t stick!), whether you approve of what skills it tests for or not!
It might be time to have a heart-to-heart with you child and explain that they are truly extraordinary in your eyes but that, in society, every single goddamn member of the human race is special. And hey, if you insist on being test-obsessed, why not start SAT prep now? That way in four years, your kid might surprise you and then you’ll have less to complain about!
Q: Hi there! I hope you can help! I spent countless hours learning how the high school application process works last fall and dragging my kid to open houses. I lost weight and hair and sleep and almost lost my job because my boss kept finding me silently weeping while browsing MySchools. I did all this because I wanted to feel empowered by my deep grasp of the system, and I wanted my child to find a modicum of agency in the process. Ultimately, I succeeded! I wiped away those tears and put on my big girl pants and dutifully explained to my child the importance of ranking in order of true preference, the difference between screened and ed opt and open admissions, how the donut shop works and more…and, after countless discussions, we settled on choices and ranked them! When we hit submit the night before the (first) deadline, my child and I were confident in our rankings and excited about a lot of possible futures. New York has so many great schools if you open your mind!
HOWEVER, today, when my child was matched with their #1-ranked school, it came to my attention that my husband had somehow figured out the login and password for our child’s MySchools account the night before applications were due (for the second time), despite never having laid eyes on the site before. At the (second) 11th hour, he moved our child’s 8th choice to the top slot in an attempt to “game the system” and “make sure we didn’t waste our top spot.” So now my kiddo is stuck with their 8th choice because his father made it his first choice. What do I do?
A: Please visit a Family Welcome Center, which can provide you with a list of resources that will help you file for divorce.
Q: I hear that it’s possible to sacrifice your first born so that your child can go to their #1 choice high school. But our 8th grader is our only child. Please advise.
A: This is a question that should be taken up with the parent coordinator at Beacon.
Q: My daughter’s consortium essay was scored poorly, averaging a score of 50 across all the consortium schools. I’m confused by this because I have a Master’s degree in English literature and consider myself a pretty good writer so I helped my daughter massage her thoughts into a great essay that I thought checked all the rubric boxes. I — I mean SHE — did ten drafts that I oversaw, but now I fear I overstepped and that her essay read as too sophisticated. Is there any way I can have my child actually write their own essay and submit that for consideration?
A: I fear that ship has sailed! And I might recommend journaling about your emotions around this subject now so that, in four short years, when it’s time for your daughter to apply to college, you will leave the “massaging” to the masseuses. (Damn you! Now I want a massage!) I won’t even suggest hiring a professional essay coach who would steer clear of such brazen overstepping; as someone with a degree in English, you probably can’t afford one anyway!
Q: Every single kid in my child’s friend group got into a performing arts high school and my child, who auditioned for drama, voice, dance, tech, and instrumental (flute, drums, guitar, and French horn, the latter of which everyone said practically guaranteed acceptance!!), did not. How is that fair?
A: It sounds like maybe your child is running with the wrong crowd! Not that they’re a bunch of bad seeds, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that they’re obviously a super talented crew! It seems apparent that your child is not especially talented, and that is OKAY!!! This sounds like the right time to introduce new hobbies and pursuits into your child’s life.
Also, and this might make you feel better, all of those kids’ parents are going to be dragging them to college auditions at arts programs all across the country in the dead of winter in four years’ time, and you’ll be that parent whose kid can apply to one school, early decision, and be done — BOOM! — before the holidays. Also, you won’t ever be staring down the possibility of spending your life savings on a musical theater degree! Doesn’t that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?
Q: I feel sort of silly writing to you with this question, but I don’t know where else to turn. Most of my close friends don’t live in NYC, so they don’t understand what I’m going through. You see, I have one really close friend in my neighborhood — the mom of my daughter’s middle school BFF — and I have tried to explain the algorithm and ranking system to her a million times and she just doesn’t listen. It’s crazy that I feel this way, but I am not sure we can be friends anymore. Because how can you be friends with someone who has an “ff” lottery number but still think her kid is going to get into NEST+1 “because, hey, you never know!” Worse, she only ranked three schools because she believes it betters her chances of getting one of them! How do I end the friendship?
A: We feel your pain, my friend. We really do. We’ve bent over backwards to explain this shit to millions of NYC parents and, well, you would not BELIEVE the dumb questions we still get! Like is it really so hard to understand that your tier only matters at screened and ed opt schools, and that your lottery number only SOMETIMES comes into play at screened schools, and that your odds of getting in to an ed opt program and a screened program at the same school are gonna be hella different, and that you shouldn’t listen to principals who insist you rank their school first or you won’t get in, or that DIA and SWD seats come from a different bucket than general sets, and that schools never see where you rank them, and that a balanced application will have schools with low applicant-to-seat ratios in the mix, and that there is an easily accessed (if you know the right people) chart that shows the statistical placement of your RAN, and …well, you get my point. IT’S NOT THAT HARD! But I digress! What I was going to say is that this friend is about to fade into the background of your life. Because if the NYC high school application system guarantees one thing, it is that no two middle school BFFs will end up going to high school together! Ever! So count your blessings. Except for the occasional run-in in your neighborhood, you’re not likely to ever see this ridiculous woman again after 8th grade graduation.
Q: My child was matched with their 107th ranked school. I understand that means we are now on 106 waitlists, and we have added ourselves to the waitlists at 13 more schools that we now realize we like better than our original ranked 107. Is there a tool in MySchools to help us keep track of our movement on those lists?
A: You’re pranking me, right? Well done! Honestly, I’m surprised anyone who has been through this process has a sense of humor anymore! But on the off chance that this is an earnest question, I should say that we’ve received a surprising number of queries like this (2) and are considering adding this tool for next year, with the caveat that the information will likely not be reliable. But also, it’s within the realm of possibility that next year, we’ll go back to limiting everyone to 12 ranked choices or, hell, maybe we’ll go down to 8. We like to mix it up each year — keep everybody guessing! So here’s hoping your 8th grader doesn’t have any younger siblings and that you can count yourselves among the lucky ones who are done — DONE — with this garbage. Honestly, I’m thinking it might be time for me to retire before I become bitter. (Too late! Haha. No, just kidding.)
Q: My child received a SHSAT offer, three LaGuardia offers, and their #1 ranked choice. All three schools (and studios!) are so phenomenal that it’s proving impossible to decide which of the five amazing programs our child should choose. I don’t know how you justify putting this kind of strain on families. I mean, how exactly are we supposed to make this decision? Flip a coin?
A: Well this is just an unimaginable hardship and I apologize to you on behalf of the DOE. I’ve got an idea! To make this decision easier on you and your precious child, I’m just gonna go ahead and log into the system here and rescind a couple of those offers! I’ll leave you with just TWO choices so that you can, in fact, resort to a coin flip! Heads, Brooklyn Tech…Tails, LAG tech. YOU’RE WELCOME!
Q: My child has been matched with a school I’ve never heard of. It’s like more than an hour away. So I’m writing to request that we please get matched with one of our three ranked choices instead. Ideally, our #1, which was NEST+m.
A: Is that you, “ff” RAN lady who WOULD NOT LISTEN? Because your friend tried! She really did! Anyway, I’m forwarding your query to a colleague. Turns out your email was the last straw and I can no longer hide my…contempt is a strong word, and yet? Anyway, I’m retiring, effective immediately. This time tomorrow, instead of fielding more ridiculous questions, I’ll be getting a massage and listening to Flock of Seagulls (IYKYK).
